The reason why, even in this day and age, I still believe in true love….
In a world where even fairy tales are politically incorrect, I often find myself wondering whether it’s better to be a successful cynic than a failed romantic. Personally, I loathe the idea of turning into US TV series character Ally McBeal (I’ve been watching the show recently, I know it’s kinda old but? I got addicted to it.) Watching a hopeless hopeless romantic on TV is bad enough. I cant’ begin to imagine how pathetic a real life Ally would be.
The trouble is, like Ally I still believe in true love. I am a self-confessed romantic. I’m not sure if it’s such a wise decision. It’s certainly not the most popular choice. These days, everyone’s a cynic. And why not? After all, we live in a time when happiness can come a pill.
The world is rife with cynicism. It’s today’s most popular form of anesthetic. Everyone’s afraid to set high expectations because it can only lead to disappointment. The way many people see it, if you don’t believe in true love, you don’t run the risk of getting hurt.
That seems like a sound argument. It’s certainly convincing. But I stand by what I believe-in that two people can find each other and know that the universe has conspired to bring them together; that two people can stay true to one another; and that true love can last a lifetime. Yes, I believe in happy-ever-afters.
My stand isn’t born out of pure naïveté. I must stress that I’ve gone through a rough relationship that eventually ended in a cathartic breakup. My ex-boyfriend was jerk, in the truest sense of the word. I went into that relationship completely believing that love was enough to make it work. I thought that if you trusted someone, even if someone wasn’t trustworthy, sooner or later he’d strive to be worthy of that trust. Needless to say, he proved me wrong and broke my heart. When I finally broke up with him, I had to pick up my confidence and self-esteem from the gutter. I was wreck! I left the relationship a changed person— stronger and more mature.
I don’t have fairies flying around in my head either. I’m not at all caught up with imaginary unicorns or dancing babies. I’m no space case. If there’s anything good my good-for-nothing ex-boyfriend taught me, its harsh reality of relationships require hard work.
I’m pretty grounded on reality. I only have trouble accepting that there’s nothing more to life beyond divorce, and human cloning. I don’t want to settle for what life has to offer if I know there’s a chance—even a slim one—that there’s something more profound out there.
The whole world has become a museum of cynical arts. Relationships are now a mathematical equation involving woman, man, pheromones, primitive mating rites, and primal urges to propagate the species. Soul mates are phenomena restricted to Meg Ryan movies. Cheating spouses can be explained as a by-product of a mid-life crisis—now as much as a part of life as eating and sleeping.
Believing in true love is no longer simple. Life would actually be easier if I were a cynic—all I have to do is give up. But people don’t realize it’s a sad existence. Cynicism dulls the senses and numbs the heart. What could be a sadder than a woman who says “I told you so’ every time a relationship doesn’t work out? Who wants to be with a girl who anticipates the breakdown of a relationship? Who wants to be the one who goes through life expecting her boyfriend or husband to eventually cheat on her?
Succeeding at cynicism in relationships is an easy but empty victory. It’s succeeding at not loving and it’s the easy way out. It’s giving up because you’re too lazy to work on the good things in your relationship. If you focus only on the bag things, you’ll end up alone and bitter. I know what life’s like. I’m not asking for a perfect relationship. I only wish that people wouldn’t give up so easily on love; that they’d keep on believing that something true and beautiful still exist.
The challenge is to believe in the good things in the face of reality. I accept the challenge. It doesn’t matter if it leads to disappointment or failure. It’s easy to be a successful cynic; and nowadays, even easier to be a failed romantic. But in the end, loathsome as it maybe, I’d still rather believe in true love, no matter how Ally-ish that may be sound. At least I can say I believe in something beautiful.