Walking around the mall by myself, I bumped into someone I never thought of seeing again. At first, I didn’t know what to do. Should I approach him? Should I say hi? What should I say to him? Does he still remember me?
After all these years, he looked pretty much the same to me. His hair is still short, and he still wears that sweet smile on his face. He is still the same attractive boy I met in grade school, but it felt different seeing him again.
Here in front of me is the first person who made me human, the first person who brought joy, laughter, pain and suffering to my life. The first person who made me feel wanted, and the first person who made me feel worthless. And after how many years, I can still remember how I habitually made phone calls to him every 8 0’ clock, after the chain of cartoon series he fanatically monitored; how I would surprise him with different gifts that vary from simple letters to cookies and chocolates to frozen margarita party; how I loved holding his hand while we walked around, with his strong grip as if he didn’t want to let me go; how I loved everything about him, his smile, his eyes, and how he made me feel.
Here in front of me is the person who made me cry buckets of tears, use up boxes of Kleenex, and close my door to the world. Here in front of me is the person who taught me that life isn’t all about having fun; that there is more to life than endless phone calls, gifts, long walks, and yes, there is more to life than love. That life doesn’t end when love fades; that people walk in and out of your life and you can’t do anything but accept it, because that’s how life is.
And when I think about it now, it just makes me smile to know that as pathetic as I was when I was mourning over a love lost, I became a better person because of him. All the things he taught me and all the memories I have of him are stored as a chapter of my life; one of the best chapters of my life that I will never forget — and I will always be thankful for that.
And there he stood, in front of me, and I have been staring at him for the past few minutes. I still didn’t know what to say. And when he finally saw me, he grabbed my hands as he used to do years ago, and greeted me with his sweet smile. He was in a hurry and I didn’t want to keep him for long.
As I walked away, I knew that what just happened was a sign, not of a second chance, but that life is never about closing your door to the world. That life is about being human, that it is all right to cry and to make mistakes. And that however painful love can be, it is the only thing that makes us truly human.